The Bond
by Neekazan
Summary: A simple trip to free Anakin's mother from slavery leads to adventure and intrigue. This is an alternate universe story in which Qui-Gon Jinn survives the duel with Darth Maul and continues training Anakin. This takes place two years after TPM and will explore not only the bond between Master and Padawan, but a Jedi's bond to the Force itself... and more.
1. Prologue & Chapter 1: Freed

**Prologue**

The eleven-year old Jedi tried to contain his excitement and curiosity as he boarded the small spacecraft in the Temple's landing bay. After stowing his bag in the appropriate storage unit, he followed Master Jinn into the cockpit. He was astonished when Qui-Gon settled into the co-pilot seat. The older Jedi smiled slightly as he gestured toward the pilot's chair. The boy did not even try to hide his eagerness as he obediently sat in the seat that made him look smaller than he already was.

"Where are we going, sir?" His eyes widened as he saw the coordinates that were already entered into the navigation station. He looked at his master, almost afraid to speak. "Tatooine?" Part of him was afraid that he had gotten into one trouble too many, and he was going to be returned to his mother. However, he dismissed that idea. _I'd be formally kicked out of the Order, wouldn't I? I'd be taken to face the Council._

"You haven't forgotten the conversation we had on your last life day, have you?"

"Which one, sir... the one where you chastised me for eating the cake too fast or the importance of Jedi decorum lecture?" He was relieved to sense amusement rippling along their bond.

"I believe that was the same conversation." Qui-Gon's eyes met the initiate's as he added, "I meant the one in front of the safe."

Anakin broke eye contact by looking at the joystick on the pilot's console. Of course he remembered that conversation.

"_I have something you need to see, Anakin." Qui-Gon led him over to the wall of his quarters. Though the boy was staying with the other initiates until he formally passed the initiate trials, he was allowed visit his Master's chambers. The man tapped a switch and a nearly invisible square panel opened to reveal a small door. "Open," he simply stated, and the portal opened. The boy tilted his head in puzzlement when he saw the Tatooine credits that lay within. "Every mission I go on, the Jedi Counsel gives me an allotment of Republic credits to carry it out. Ever since I took you on as my apprentice, I have set aside a small amount from those credits and converted them to Tatooine currency."_

_Anakin swallowed before asking, "Why?"_

"_So we may free your mother. I want you to know it was here in case something happens to me before we can do that."_

_The boy just stood in shock for a moment as he stared into Qui-Gon's eyes. "Really?" The question was a barely audible whisper._

"_I regret I couldn't free her when we were first on Tatooine, but I know how you worry about her. I wish to unleash you from that burden so you can concentrate on things more necessary for your Jedi training."_

_Anakin could barely breathe. A hot tear burned his cheek, and he blushed as he quickly brushed it away. "Thank you," he stammered as more tears blurred his vision. He felt a hand on his shoulder. Taking a half step, he hugged Qui-Gon and wept in the man's embrace._

Once again he felt a hand on his shoulder. This time, he managed to contain the threatening tears as he looked over at Master Jinn and nodded. "Yes, I remember."

"It's time to free your mother."

Not able to hold his sheer happiness within, he raised both arms up and yelled, "Yes!" Seeing Qui-Gon wince and place a finger in his ear, the boy blushed, "Sorry, Master."

The man only smiled before asking, "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go."

"Yes, sir!"

**CHAPTER 1**

**Freed**

Light from the window fell upon the frail form of Shmi Skywalker. The weak moan that escaped her lips hurt her throat and caused her to start coughing. She continued to lie upon the mattress as she struggled to regain her breath. Then she realized that it must be about mid-morning. She struggled to sit up, but found she lacked the strength.

Even as the light began to fade, she heard Watto's voice. "Shmi?"

She tried once more to rise from her bed as she wondered why he was there. He had never come to her quarters in the many years she had been his slave. She was able to sit up, but found she did not have the energy to even try to stand. She slumped against the wall behind her as her master entered her bedroom.

"I'm sorry, I overslept," Shmi said weakly as she once more tried to stand, but dizziness overwhelmed her and she fell back onto the bed.

She barely heard Watto exclam, "Shmi!" She felt a hand on her forehead and heard him muttering something she could not make out.

Minutes later, she felt someone put a hand under her head and raise it slightly. She opened her eyes and saw it was once again her master. He was holding a glass of water and put it to her lips. More dribbled down her chin than went into her mouth at first as he spoke, "Come on, Shmi, drink."

As the warm liquid slid down her throat, she slowly felt strong enough to sit up. She took the glass from Watto and thirstily finished off the water.

"Stay alive, Shmi. I can't afford to bury ya."

Her lips pulled up in a wan smile. In spite of Watto's gruffness, she knew he cared about her. He had been kind to her since Anakin left, even treated her with respect when no one else was around to notice. Times had been rough, especially in the past few months, and she had not eaten for three days. She was sure that was the reason for her feebleness.

"I have something for ya."

Watto held out a small sack, and she took it. She peered inside to see a rotted apple and a stale bread roll.

"It's all I could find behind Gimbo's bakery this morning." He shrugged.

She struggled to break the roll in half, then handed one part to Watto. "Thank you. You need to eat, too."

He waved a hand in dismissal. "I already ate." He turned around and glided to the door. "Come to the shop when you feel able to get out of bed."

For a moment, she just stared after the slave owner as he disappeared. Then her hunger overtook her and she ate the stale bread and bruised fruit as though it were a feast. Though it was a meager meal, it made her feel strong enough to stand. She walked slowly into her kitchen and filled the glass with water before heading outside, still feeling weak, but determined to keep going.

Ten minutes later, she entered Watto's shop to see a imposingly tall man standing with his back to her and talking to her master.

"See, there she is," the Toydarian slavemaster pointed to her.

The long-haired man turned, and she gasped in sudden recognition. "Qui-Gon Jinn!" She looked around, hoping to see Anakin. "My son... how is he... is he here?"

"He's fine. I told him to stay on the ship." A smile played at the corner of his lips as he added, "He isn't too happy with me right now, but I wanted to make sure you were still... here before I let him come."

The pause in the last sentence was very slight, but Shmi knew the Jedi had meant he wanted to make sure she was alive. The longing to see and hold her son was so overwhelming, she could not say anything.

"This Jedi wishes to purchase you," Watto informed her, "but refused to negotiate until he saw you." The Toydarian looked back at Qui-Gon, "Now you see her. One-thousand druggets is a fair trade."

The Jedi raised an eyebrow. "For an old, starving slave? I don't think so."

Shmi tried not to take offense as she walked over to the repair bench and began working on the transponder unit she'd been trying to fix for the past couple days. She knew part of the bargaining process on the part of the buyer was to talk down the value of the product they wished to purchase. In this case, she was the merchandise. Almost a lifetime of being a slave made her used to being referred to in this way. However, this coming from the Jedi who had freed her son felt wrong. She tuned out of the conversation as she concentrated on the job she was doing.

"Fine, four hundred druggets it is!" Watto's annoyed voice broke through the slave's ponderance of the transponder. She held her hand up to muffle her gasp at the amount the Jedi had paid for her.

"And what of the slave transmitter?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Eh, here it is, but itsa deactivated." As the ex-slave owner handed the device over to the Jedi as well as the owner documents, he added, "I didn't want her blown to smithereens if she wandered off in a daze."

The big man stared at Watto with narrowed eyes.

"She's yours, now, Jedi," Watto spoke gruffly. "Take her and go already. I can't say itsa pleasure doing business with ya, 'cause it wasna."

Qui-Gon politely bowed his head then turned to Shmi. He inclined his head to her and extended his arm toward the exit. "After you, ma'am."

Legs feeling unsteady, she walked across the cluttered floor, and hesitated in the doorway to look back at her former owner.

"You're still here? Of wit' ya already, I've work to do!" The Toydarian then turned away and flew out the back, muttering his usual complaints against the universe in general.

Sighing sadly, she left Watto's shop the for the last time.

~~~

Qui-Gon frowned as he followed Shmi outside. He had sensed a strange bond between her and Watto. He shook his head, putting the thought aside since it was not important at the moment. He could sense her anxiousness to see Anakin, which was understandable. What worried him was her obvious frailty. Though she had been skinny when he first met her, she had not been emaciated as she was now. He gently took a hold of her elbow as he stopped. When she turned to look up at him with a puzzled expression on her face, he asked, "Do you feel alright?"

Her smile was warm yet weak. "It's nothing a couple good meals won't fix." At his frown, her voice became defensive. "Don't blame Watto, he did his best by me. He just had some bad luck in gambling, and business hasn't been doing so well. He's been foraging for the both of us."

Qui-Gon's lips thinned. Deciding not to push the subject, he changed it. "Of course, you're free to do what you wish now." He removed a pouch from his robes and held it out to her. "Here is some money you can use until you find a job. I had hoped to give you more, but..." he let that drop with a shrug, knowing she would understand that he had paid more for her than he thought he would have to. "We'll take you to any planet you wish to go." Remembering how she had said in their last meeting that she was destined to stay on Tatooine, he quickly added, "That is, if you wish to leave here."

He sensed mixed feelings coming from Shmi as she remained silent. Briefly looking back at the shop, he recalled some of the cruel things he said during the bargaining with Watto. "I'm sorry for my choice of words back there... I wanted to save the bulk of the money for you... so you're new life as a freed slave would have a good start."

Shmi shifted her arm so that his light grip on her elbow slid down to her hand. Lightly squeezing his strong fingers, she shook her head. "You don't need to apologize. I know how haggling works. I'm grateful for your kindness and generosity."

As she spoke, Qui-Gon noted how each bone in her hand stood out. _It will take more than a couple meals before she's a healthy weight._ He was alarmed at how cold her fingers felt, but said nothing. Gently turning her palm up, he gave her the small bag of coins and closed her fingers around it. "I wish I could have freed you sooner."

Shmi's free hand shook as she raised it to touch his cheek. He could sense the great effort it took for her to lift it. "Please, no regrets. You have done more than I dared hope for. Please, may I see Ani now?"

"Of course!" He took a hold of the hand at her cheek and placed it in the crook of his elbow as he added, "He's very eager to see you." He guided her towards the spaceport, then paused once more. "Do you have anything you wish to bring with you? That droid Anakin made for you, perhaps?"

"Yes, but I need to see my son first, please."

He bowed to her. "Very well, my lady. This way, then."

They had only taken two steps when the Jedi felt the weight of her hand on his arm become heavier. Quick reflexes allowed him to catch her before she was halfway to the ground. "Shmi!"

Before he had even said her name, he knew she could not answer. Easily lifting her frail frame, he cradled her in his strong arms. He made sure her head rested against his chest. He used the Force to retrieve the dropped money pouch even as he swiftly carried her to what passed for a hospital in Mos Espa.

Rushing into the emergency entrance, he used the Force to project his voice to demand attention. "This woman needs immediate medical attention!" He gently placed Shmi's slight form on a gurney without asking permission as a nurse came over to them.

"What happened to her?"

"She fainted. She's malnourished."

"I see that," the nurse replied absently as she took the patient's vitals. "What's her name?"

"Shmi Skywalker."

Calling for an orderly to her, she told him, "Take this patient to 16B." Turning to look up at Qui-Gon, she asked, "What is your relationship to the patient?"

He paused for a few moments before answering. Though he had just bought her, he did not consider her for even a moment as his slave. "I'm her lover," he lied stone faced as he subtly waved his fingers, "I can go to the waiting room while she's taken care of."

She nodded brusquely and said, "Please go have a seat in the waiting room."

He bowed slightly to her retreating back then did as she instructed. As he strolled across the busy emergency room, he took his comlink from his belt. "Anakin." When the boy did not answer right away, he said again, "Anakin, do you read me?"

"Yes, Master."

"Come to the hospital." There was a long pause. "Do you remember where it is?"

"Yes, of course... what's wrong with my mom?"

"Just get here quick."

"Yes, sir!"

Qui-gon replaced the comlink to his belt. _Please hold on Shmi. Your son will be here soon._


	2. Chapter 2: Re-acquaintance

**CHAPTER 2**

**Re-acquaintance**

Anakin's heart raced more because of his fear for his mother than because of the exertion of running down the streets of Mos Espa. He could barely sense her through the Force. His inattention to his surroundings allowed a drunken Rodian coming from one of the many bars in the city to bump into the young Jedi initiate. After stumbling only slightly, the boy ran on, ignoring the intoxicated cursing that followed him. He quietly murmured a few more cuss words of his own when his legs would not carry him fast enough. Remembering how he heard at the Temple that Jedi could use the Force to increase their speed, he desperately reached out. Next thing he knew, it seemed those he passed were standing still. A minute later, he was standing in front of the hospital.

"Wizard," he whispered as he stepped inside. Hesitating just beyond the entrance, he looked around. He could sense the faint life-force of his mother through the double doors marked "Emergency Room" in both Basic and Huttese. To his right, he could sense Qui-Gon through their bond, even though the boy could not see him. He forced himself to a slow pace as he went where he knew Master Jinn was. and tried to calm his nerves. He took a deep breath then slowly released it with each step. He swallowed as he finally caught sight of the older Jedi sitting on the floor with his legs folded in front of him. His eyes were closed, and Anakin could feel his master's meditation was light. Biting his bottom lip as he stopped in front of the still figure, he reached his hand out to touch the man's shoulder.

"Master?" He stammered.

"Sit down, Padawan," Qui-Gon instructed without opening his eyes.

A feeling of reassurance always filled Anakin when the man before him called him 'Padawan'. He had been told he was not officially an apprentice until he passed his initiate's tests, but being called Padawan anyway was an affirmation that Qui-Gon did not stand on that formality. This time was no exception.

Obediently sitting in front of his Master, Anakin tried to mirror the seeming calmness of the elder's manner. He knew he failed miserably, because he was too worried about his mother. He stared at the Jedi who had become like a father to him, and struggled to remain silent until the Master chose to speak. He was relieved when he did not have to wait long.

"She'll be alright." Qui-Gon finally opened his eyes as he answered the un-asked query.

As though a dam broke, more questions flooded from Anakin's mouth. "What happened? Were you able to free her? What's wrong with her? May I go see her, please?"

The Jedi Master calmly answered each question one at a time. "I was able to purchase her from Watto, but I haven't had a chance to officially release her from bondage. Apparently, Watto's business is failing and some unwise gambling decisions made it so he was unable to regularly feed your mother. She has lost quite a bit of weight. I believe her weakened condition has lowered her resistance to illness. As we were making our way back to the ship, she fainted and I brought her here. The doctor is examining her now. When he is ready, we may go in to see her."

"Okay." Anakin struggled to keep from crying. He was trying so hard to be a good Jedi and not give into his feelings. He wanted to make Qui-Gon and his mother proud. He sensed his Master reaching out to him through the Force, and his presence calmed him. _Thank you, sir._ The initiate hoped his gratitude and respect reached him.

_You're welcome._

A tear rolled down his cheek when he heard his Master's voice in his head accompanied by a gentle warmth that seemed to enfold his whole being. Embarrassed, he quickly wiped the tear with his sleeve. He was surprised when Qui-Gon reached out to take his hand.

"Never be embarrassed by honest emotion, Anakin."

"But, Jedi aren't supposed to have emotion."

The man tilted his head as he raised an eyebrow. "Who told you that?"

"Well... no one actually said that, but, Master Yoda taught me this one... what did he call it... monta or something, that I have to recite every day."

"Mantra," Qui-gon corrected before closing his eyes and intoning, "Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet the Force."

Anakin frowned, "Um, that's not quite it... I was told, 'There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no..." He stopped when the Master held up a finger.

"The way I quoted it was how it was originally written," Qui-Gon explained. "I never understood why it was changed because it makes no sense to me. Of course there is emotion. We are not to let it rule us, but we aren't unfeeling droids. We are all ignorant of something until we seek for knowledge... or it is revealed to us some other way. Chaos... well life can get that way, and people _do _die as all lifeforms do."

"Then," the initiate questioned hesitantly, "it is okay for me to tell you I love you?"

Before Qui-Gon could react, a nurse who had exited the emergency room approached the two Jedi. "Are you the one who brought in Shmi Skywalker?"

Both Master and Padawan rose to their feet. The elder answered, "I am."

"Doctor Keema wishes to speak with you." When Anakin followed Qui-Gon, the nurse added, "You must stay here. Children under twelve aren't allowed in the emergency room unless they're a patient."

Putting a hand on the boy's shoulder, Qui-gon spoke up, "This is Shmi's son. He's thirteen-years old." When the woman looked at Anakin doubtfully, he explained while sweeping two raised fingers between them, "He's small for his age."

"You're small for your age," she commented as though she had come up with the idea herself, then allowed him to go.

Anakin stifled a giggle as he passed by the nurse.

~~~

Qui-Gon stood quietly in the corner of the room as he watched Anakin tentatively take his mother's hand.

"Mom?" The boy's voice quivered.

The doctor had said Shmi would recover, but it would be a slow process. Her severe malnutrition had wrecked havoc on her immune system, and she had contracted not only one virus, but three. She would normally have been submerged into a bacta tank, but on an outer-rim planet such as Tatooine, such technology was hard to come by. Though this facility did have a tank, it had broken the week before and they were trying to find the parts necessary to fix it. So they affixed tubes and needles in the patient's arms to deliver the needed the liquids, nutrients and medicines she required.

"Mom," Anakin repeated a little more steadily than the first time as he sandwiched her frail hand in both of his.

Shmi's eyelids fluttered for a few moments before she finally woke and looked at her son. "Ani," she exclaimed as her eyes lit up. "It's so good to see you. I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too, mom."

The Jedi Master could hear the tears in his padawan's voice, and felt his own throat tighten with emotion. He ignored his own stray tear that slowly made its way down his cheek.

~~~

It was late, Shmi knew that much. She had come in and out of sleep several times during the day. Anakin had been by her side each time she woke except for once. The one time he was not, she found Qui-Gon in apparent meditation in the chair beside her bed. However, he opened his eyes as she studied him. She had blushed as she realized his dark azure eyes were watching her watch him.

"_Where's Ani?"_

"_I sent him to your home to pack your things and retrieve Seethreepio. He should be on his way back from taking them to the ship soon."_

"_Oh, that's a good idea."_

"_So it's okay I had him do that, then? I mean, you do wish to leave Tatooine?"_

"_Yes, there's nothing tying me here any more... thanks to you. Why did you do it?"_

"_Do what?"_

"_Why did you come back and free me?"_

"_Anakin has been having trouble concentrating on his studies, and a big part of the problem is he was worried about you being stuck as a slave here on Tatooine. I'm hoping that now you're free, he can direct his focus on his training unencumbered by guilt and apprehension."_

Pulling her attention back to the present, she saw Qui-Gon standing beside her bed, but his attention was not on her, but on her son who was sitting in the chair the Jedi Master had occupied a few hours before. Anakin's tiny hand was on top of hers, and he was sleeping with his head leaning on the side of her bed. She watched as the tall Jedi removed his cloak and placed it around the boy's shoulders before carefully lifting him from the chair and carrying him to the sofa which sat along the wall. The man leaned down and secured the cloak over Anakin to make sure he stayed warm. His huge hands gently brushed her son's unruly bangs to the side.

She smiled as she spoke softly, "You love him, don't you?"

Qui-Gon turned and walked over to the side of the bed and reached over to take one of her hands in his. His gentle grasp warmed her fingers. "I care for him a great deal. He's an extraordinary boy."

"Because of his Force abilities?"

Qui-Gon shook his head. "No, because of who he is."

"The Chosen One?" Anakin had mentioned the term to her when he told her how much pressure he felt to achieve, and that he feared he would let everyone down.

Again, he shook his head as he replied, "Because he's _your son_."

Taken aback by his answer, Shmi just stared into his deep blue eyes. Not for the first time, she noticed how handsome he was. Not holo-vid handsome, but in a way that was real. Though most of the time his face was frozen in a stoic mien, his eyes expressed more than she expected he knew. She blushed and looked away, but returned her attention to him when he began speaking once more.

"Anakin's willingness to help without thought for anything in return, his love of tinkering with and fixing things, and his genuine kindness are all traits he picked up from you... the way you raised him. It couldn't have been easy raising a child in slavery, but you didn't let the hardships make you bitter." He smiled slightly before breaking eye contact by looking down at their clasped hands. He gently squeezed her fingers before releasing them. "You should go back to sleep," he said softly. "The doctor said you may be able to leave in the morning."

Shmi chuckled. "I've been sleeping off and on all day. I want to hear more about how Ani is doing. Does he have any friends at the Jedi Temple?" When Qui-Gon remained silent and frowned, she became concerned. "He hasn't been getting into fights has he?"

"Oh, no. Nothing like that. It's just that he's been having trouble relating to the other initiates his age. Partly because it got out that he is the Chosen One - it sets him apart. Also, because he wasn't raised in the Temple with the other initiates, he is an outsider. It's not that the other initiates shun him, but there is a kind of barrier... a fence if you will... they will talk to him, but there is a line neither Anakin or they cross. He seems to get along better with adults. He and my former Padawan, Obi-Wan, often talk together when he isn't on a mission, and my friend Sian never passes up a chance to corrupt the boy." He said the last with an amused gleam in his eye.

"Who is this, Sian?"

"He's a fellow Master whose views on the way of the Jedi are a bit unorthodox. He's a good man, and helped me through a very rough time in my life." A hint of sorrow shaded Qui-Gon's eyes for a moment, but quickly passed when he added, "He has a way of making Anakin laugh when he's feeling down, and he looks after the boy when I'm away on a mission."

"So Ani doesn't go on missions yet?"

"He isn't allowed until he passes initiate training."

Though she could feel sleep tugging at her awareness, she stifled a yawn as she asked, "Has he gotten into a lot of mischief? I know he was used to roaming freely through Mos Espa when Watto let him off from work. I'm sure life at the Temple is more restrictive."

A smile played at the corner of the Jedi Masters lips. "I wouldn't say a _whole_ lot, but, he's been known to take unauthorized excursions now and then." He reached out to gently remove a stray hair from her face. "He fights sleep almost as much as you're doing now."

Shmi laughed softly as she let the persistent yawn escape. "Okay, I give," she said as her heavy eyelids slowly began to close. "Good night, Qui-Gon."

"Sleep well, Shmi."


	3. Chapter 3: Excursion

**CHAPTER 3**

**Excursion**

Anakin was disappointed when he was told by his mother that she had to stay in the hospital for another day or two. "Possibly three."

"But why? You look better." Through the Force, he could tell she was stronger.

"Doctor Rahj said that my immune system isn't working yet, and he'd feel more comfortable releasing me when my body shows signs it is."

The boy nodded in approval. "That sounds reasonable."

Qui-Gon came over as Shmi smiled fondly at her son. "That will give you more time to catch up on the lessons your teachers sent with you," the Jedi Master said as he put a hand on one of Anakin's shoulders.

Sighing, he replied, "I suppose so. The data chips are on the ship though."

"Well, you know the way there."

"You just want to get rid of me so you can talk to my mom alone, right?" When he was met with his Master's typical stone-faced expression, he rolled his eyes. "Okay, I'll get going, sir."

(((O)))

As he walked down the streets, Anakin heard a commotion around the corner ahead of him. He rushed to see what was going on and saw a Gotal thug slamming Vek Drow against the wall of his shop. The Ishi Tib merchant slid down the wall, a streak of red smearing the stucco and slumped on the sandy ground. As the muscular alien ran towards the street Anakin had turned off of, the boy stepped in front of him.

"Out of my way, Tiny!" The Gotal growled.

Without a word, Anakin reached out a hand, and using the Force, pushed the menacing ruffian's legs out from under him. He vaguely noticed Vek Drow's wife come out of the shop to aid her husband, and heard her screaming to stop the thief.

"Woah! Umph!" The villain's greyish-brown face landed in the sand by the tip of the Jedi Initiate's boots. With a moan, he pushed himself up and glared at the boy. Snarling, he launched himself from a squatting position towards him, his horns threatening to gore the child.

Anakin was too quick for him. Sidestepping the lunge, he again raised his hands, and the Gotal floated in the air, mid jump. "I suggest you drop what you stole."

"What's it to you, punk?"

"Nothing, really. I just don't like bullies."

"Let me down!"

"Okay." Anakin proceeded to wave one arm down then up several times. The Gotal's body mirrored the boy's actions, slamming into Mos Espa's sandy street.

After the fifth time, the thug screamed, "Stop! Please! Stop!" He slammed into the ground once more before he dropped the stolen item. "There, I dropped it, please stop!"

Anakin stopped making the Gotal smack into the ground, but still held him mid-air. "Why shouldn't I slam you against a building like you did Vek?"

"Please, I'm sorry! Let me go."

"When I let you go, you will help Vek's wife take him to the hospital, understand?"

"Yes, yes, I'll do it!"

"Promise?"

"Yes," the thief squealed, "I promise!"

Anakin lowered his arm, and this time it was Tatooine's gravity that made the Gotal unceremoniously drop to the ground. When the crook tried to take off without helping, the young Jedi once more grabbed him using the Force. This time, he swung the thug around then made him soar towards the wall of one of the buildings.

The Gotal screamed in sheer terror.

Then he stopped with his nose a quarter of a centimeter from the stuccoed bricks.

"Now do what you promised, or else I won't be so nice!"

"Okay," the Gotal stammered after being let down unto his feet. His gait was unsteady at first when he walked towards the shopkeepers.

Anakin watched as the thug picked up the merchant and began carrying him. The wife yelled instructions to someone within the shop before rushing to keep up. As they passed the Jedi, the boy said, "If I hear you abandoned Vek before taking him into the hospital, I will hunt you down... Oh, and don't call me 'Tiny'!"

"Don't worry, I won't," stammered the Gotal.

He watched the three go around the corner. The female Ishi Tib looked back at him and said, "Thank you!" Anakin only nodded to her in acknowledgement before she turned and followed the Gotal.

"Isn't that the slave kid who beat Sebulba in the Boonta Eve Classic two years ago?"

"It couldn't be, he left Tatooine after that."

Anakin looked around and blushed slightly when he noticed a crowd of people gathering around and staring at him. "There's nothing to see here," he said in a nonchalant manner while waving them away, "go about your business."

"Eh, there's nothing to see here. Come on, we've got things to do."

Anakin was amazed as the crowd dispersed. He had not meant to use the Force to make them obey him. He gulped as he resumed his journey to the shipyards. Remembering that he was told to keep the fact that he was a Jedi low-key, he thought, _I hope Qui-Gon doesn't hear about this, he'll skin me for sure! _Though he knew that would never really happen. The Jedi Master had never raised a hand to him. Whenever he had done something that displeased the man and saw _thatlook_ - the thinned lips and the disappointment in those keen eyes - he could not help but feel being yelled at or beaten would be much preferable.

(((O)))

It was just after noon when Anakin had finished several assignments. The only two things he had left to do was an essay on the impact of some long-dead civilization on the Galactic Republic, which he was in no mood to do at that moment, and an interview he was supposed to do with Qui-Gon on philosophy. _I wonder if that discussion about the mantra counts?_ Shrugging, he placed his work back into his pack. As he did so, his fingers brushed by a pouch he had taken with him.

Within it was a mostly-finished lightsaber.

All that he needed to do to complete it was the crystal. Without any prompting from his Master or other instructors, he had looked up the blueprints of the Jedi's weapon within the first week he came to the Temple. In many of the "unauthorized excursions" his Master had mentioned to Shmi while he was asleep he had been scavenging for parts in various junkyards.

_I'll find the crystal soon, _he thought with a certainty he could not explain.

After closing the pack, he turned to leave the ship. He was just passing the shop of the merchant who he had helped that morning on his route back to the hospital when he heard a gravelly voice shout, "Hey, you!"

Anakin stopped his casual pace and turned to see Vek approaching him. The green-skinned Ishi Tib had a bandage around his head. He saw the merchant's wife standing in the doorway behind him.

"You're the kid who stopped that thief, aren't you?"

"Yes," he confirmed.

"I want to thank you. I don't know how you did what you did, but thanks."

"It was nothing, really, but you're welcome." The boy turned to go, but the shopkeeper stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Is there anything I can give you? That was an expensive piece of equipment that thug was trying to take off with."

Anakin shrugged. "That won't be necessary."

"Please, I owe you, and I never let my debts go unpaid."

The boy was about to say that the merchant owed him nothing since he had stopped the thief of his own free will, but then a thought stopped him: _The hospital needs parts to fix that bacta tank._ "You don't happen to have a infractor coil and a dual-phased oscillator, do you?" He knew what it needed because he had looked at the bacta tank the previous day before he went to get the things from the slave hovel he had grown up in. He had wanted to see if he could possibly repair it so his mom could get the care she needed.

The Ishi Tib rubbed the back of his neck as he spoke, "I might. Come in and I'll check my inventory." The merchant turned and walked into his shop. "What do you need it for?" After being told about the hospital's need, the shopkeeper looked at Anakin. "You aren't asking for anything for yourself?" He looked back at his datapad as he added, "You're a strange boy."

"I've been accused of that many times," Anakin grinned, "I don't let that bother me much."

Chuckling, Vek shook his head. "I like you, kid. Here they are," he crowed in triumph as he tapped the datapad's screen. I have both the oscillator and coil you mentioned, though they came from a racing pod instead of a bacta tank. Octa," he called out, and an eight-armed droid ambled over to him. "Go get these for the lad."

"Yes, sir," the droid's responded in a high-pitched mechanical voice.

Fifteen minutes later, he snuck into the room that held the bacta tank and proceeded to make the needed repairs. He was just tightening the last bolt when he heard the door to the room open and he sensed danger


	4. Chapter 4: Stirrings

**CHAPTER 4**

**Stirrings**

Qui-Gon allowed a smile to play across his features as Anakin left the room. It faded however, when he glanced over at Shmi. Her eyes danced with mirth while she also watched her son leave. He had been thinking that perhaps it would be a good thing if she did not live too close to the Jedi Temple. _Better yet, that she does not reside on Coruscant._ He was concerned that close proximity would make Anakin's attachment to her stronger, which would undermine his purpose for freeing the woman in the first place. He was loathe, however, to bring up his reservations. She was free now to dwell wherever she wished. _I have no right to tell her where or where not to call home. Wherever she chooses, we'll deal with it._

"What's wrong, Qui-Gon?" Shmi was looking up at the Jedi with her head tilted to one side.

Shaking his head, he answered, "Nothing is _wrong. _I was just wondering if you've given thought to where you wish to live."

Taking a deep breath, she broke eye contact with her companion. "Yes, I have. I'm not quite sure where I want to go. I," she hesitated for a moment before continuing, "I think it best I don't live on Coruscant, though." She looked up at Qui-Gon as she explained, "I don't wish to have my presence be a distraction to Anakin's training. You said he's already having trouble relating to the other children there. Me being around can only cause more trouble for him."

Sensing how much pain the insight caused her, he reached over to gently squeeze her hand. Qui-Gon admired her wisdom and total unselfishness. He knew how much she loved her son - how she longed to be with him and watch him grow. Yet it was her great love for Anakin that allowed her to let him go, not only once, but twice. "Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you?"

He could sense her gratitude before she spoke. She squeezed his fingers as she favored him with an appreciative smile. "You are already doing it by being so kind." When her thumb gently stroked the side of his hand, he slowly pulled it away.

"Would you like to go for a stroll with me?" Her doctor had mentioned earlier that she could take short walks down the hallway so long as she was accompanied by another adult.

"Yes, I would like that."

Qui-Gon helped her lower the rail at the side of the bed then helped her put on the robe the hospital had provided for her. He then proffered his elbow when she had risen from the bed. The tall man smiled down at Shmi after she took his arm. They left the room and walked at a slow pace down the hallway. They were just passing the nurse's desk when the Jedi Master stopped short.

"What's wrong?" When he was slow to answer, Shmi asked, "Is it Anakin? Is he in danger?" She squeezed his arm. "Qui-Gon, please!"

The Jedi looked down at her as though he was coming out of a dream. "He's fine." He resumed walking at the same measured pace as before. _What have you done, Padawan?_ He had felt a surge in the Force which had the boy's signature presence written all over it. He made a mental note to ask the youth about his activities when he returned from his studies.

"Was it Anakin?"

Qui-Gon looked at Shmi with an expression that said, 'What are you talking about?'

"Don't look at me like that. You had this look like you were seeing or sensing something of concern happening someplace else. Was it Anakin?"

The Jedi's lips thinned in consternation. "Yes, but he's fine."

Sighing, she lowered her eyes, "Okay, you don't have to tell me. I guess I lost my right to know what is going on with my son when I released him to you."

He stopped again, this time turning to his companion. Putting his fingers under her chin, Qui-Gon gently lifted it so their eyes met. "Shmi, I..."

She backed away from him as she interrupted, "Don't... I know I have to let go. It's just hard to do this again." When he reached out to her, she pulled back further. "Please, I need to be alone!"

As she was turning away from him, Qui-Gon could see tears starting to roll down her cheeks. He watched as she walked swiftly away from him. "Shmi," he called to her, "you're going the wrong way."

She stopped, turned back towards him, then fell to her knees, weeping. He was kneeling in front of her in an instant. "Shmi, I'm sorry," he whispered as he pulled her to him. He put his arms around her small frame as she buried her face on his shoulder. Rocking her back and forth, he ran his fingers through her hair. When she apologized for making such a scene, he brushed his lips against her ear as he murmured, "Sh, it's okay."

Once her tears abated and she pulled away to look up at him, Qui-Gon tenderly brushed the lingering wetness from her cheeks. "You were crying too!" She reached up and ran her thin fingers across his face.

Gently clasping her hand, he kissed her palm. He then swallowed as he looked deeply into her eyes.

_What am I doing?_

His lips were a mere centimeter from hers, and he could feel her warm breath softly tickle his skin. He cleared his throat and pulled away.

Blushing, Shmi also cleared her throat before saying, "I guess we'd better get up off the floor."

A smile played upon his lips as he nodded. He rose from the floor before helping her to her feet. "Do you wish to return to your room?"

Shaking her head, she looked demurely up at him. "If you don't mind, I'd like to walk with you some more."

Qui-Gon bowed his head slightly as he once more proffered his arm and she took it. "I would enjoy that."

Shmi could not keep her eyes from wandering up to study Qui-Gon's face as they strolled in silence. _Was he really about to kiss me back there?_ The mere thought of it made her feel warm and light-headed. She could not deny her attraction to him. _He couldn't possibly find a scrawny slave woman like me attractive. Still..._ She looked down at her feet as she said softly, "I like being with you, even though it can't last."

The Jedi placed his hand on top of hers and gently squeezed in answer. She could feel her pulse quicken at his touch. _Can he tell how I feel?_ Glancing up at him, Shmi took a quick breath in when she saw he was looking down at her. It was only for a moment, then he swallowed and turned his head so that his gaze was steadfastly on the route they were taking. _He's a Jedi, so even if he is attracted to me, he won't act on it. It's for the best. He is the only one I know I can trust my son with. I know he loves Anakin and will do what is best for him._

They went through a set of double doors into a room that seemed as though it were a whole other place than a sterile hospital. A garden of desert plants native to Tatooine; flowers, cacti and trees, were growing in a large circular room. Sandstone tiles made paths through the wondrous oasis which was lit by sunshine coming down through a transparisteel ceiling. Ornate benches dotted the sides of the paths. Shmi could see a fountain in the middle of the garden. Without speaking, she and Qui-Gon headed toward the center.

Once they stopped in front of the fountain, Shmi pulled away from her companion. She slowly circled the fountain as she looked all around and took in the scents of the flowers. Coming to a halt once she reached Qui-Gon who had silently watched her the entire time, she whispered in awe, "It's so beautiful here."

Suddenly feeling light-headed, she reached out for Qui-Gon who was already reaching out to steady her. He guided her to the nearest bench to sit down.

"Are you okay?"

She put a hand to her forehead as she answered, "I... I think so. I just feel tired all of a sudden." Shmi leaned towards her companion and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Rest then," he said softly as he put his arm around her shoulders.

The aroma of the flowers mingled with Qui-Gon's scent made her feel warm and safe as she drifted off to sleep.

_She was in a field of golden and lavender flowers. On a hillside, strange looking creatures fed on the grass and flowers. Qui-Gon was beside her, but was garbed in a shepherd's clothing and held a long staff with a hook on one end. He was holding her hand, and as she looked down, she saw a ring on her fourth finger... a wedding band matched by one he was wearing on one of his fingers. As she looked up at him, he leaned down to kiss her on the lips._

"Qui-Gon Jinn, please come to the security office!"

Shmi was jarred awake by the announcement over the hospital's intercom. She sat up straight and looked around in confusion.

"It's okay," Qui-Gon's soft deep voice drew her attention to him as he put a hand on top of her fingers.

"Qui-Gon Jinn, please come to the security office," the same voice as before repeated over the intercom.

"I must go, will you be alright?"

Though still feeling muddled, she nodded.

"I'll send someone for you," the Jedi said as he rose from the bench.

Shmi watched as he quickly walked down the path to the double doors through which they had entered the garden.

"Anakin," she thought out loud, "what have you done now?"


	5. Chapter 5: Releasing

**CHAPTER 5**

**Releasing**

As Qui-Gon entered the security office, he spotted Anakin sitting forlornly on a bench, head bowed down. He knew his Padawan could sense him come in, but the boy did not look up at him. The Master Jedi noted the tightened fists which sat in the youth's lap, and frowned. He could sense anger, frustration and sorrow crash through their bond like a raging river.

"Are you Qui-Gon Jinn," a security droid inquired.

Without taking his eyes off Anakin, he replied, "Yes, I am."

"We caught your slave tampering with vital hospital equipment."

"I told you, I was _fixing _the bacta tank, you stupid..." The young Jedi abruptly stood as he shouted at the droid, but stopped when Qui-Gon placed a hand on his shoulder. The boy was breathing rapidly as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Looking over at the droid, Qui-Gon stated calmly, "There has been a misunderstanding. This lad is not my slave."

"He told us you were his master."

"That is correct, but he is my _apprentice_ not my slave."

"Still, you are responsible for the boy's act of sabotage."

Qui-Gon could feel Anakin stiffen, and he gently squeezed the boy's shoulder. "If he says he was fixing it, that was what he was doing."

"I had just finished the repairs when you came in," Anakin said in a calmer tone, though there was more than a hint of resentment in it.

"There were no repairs scheduled for today, and only authorized personnel are allowed in the bacta room, so your _apprentice_ was trespassing as well tampering with essential hospital equipment."

"Has anyone tested the bacta tank to see if it works, yet," Qui-Gon asked.

"No."

"Then why don't you do so," he suggested.

"I am not programmed in that area."

"Then _get_ someone who is authorized to run the bacta tanks to check into it before you accuse my apprentice of sabotage."

"I am not authorized to assign tasks to hospital personnel."

Annoyance rose within Qui-Gon, and he took a deep breath then slowly released it along with the emotion. "Please let me speak to the head of security."

"He has already been contacted and should be here soon."

"Good, then there is no need to carry on this conversation until he gets here." With that, Qui-Gon turned his back on the droid and went to sit on the bench. He gazed over at Anakin who remained standing. "Sit, Padawan," he instructed quietly.

He watched as the boy sullenly avoided eye contact as he sat next to him. _He's been a slave since birth. It's left a deep wound that's been re-opened by that damned unfeeling droid._ As Qui-Gon placed a hand on his shoulder, he hoped Anakin was open enough to sense what was in his heart.

Anakin could not bring himself to look at Master Jinn as he sat next to him. He tried to close himself off to the bond he had with the older Jedi. He did not wish anyone to see the agony he was feeling. _I was born a slave. Even though he freed me, I'll always BE a slave!_

He felt his Master's hand on his shoulder. Though he did not wish to, Anakin slowly looked up at him. As their eyes met, he could feel the man's concern for him. More than that, he sensed love.

Pain stabbed at his chest as he tried to pull away. _I can't... I don't deserve it._

"Anakin, please don't close me out."

The padawan shrugged the master's hand off his shoulder and quickly rose from the bench.

'_Ani, my son, look at me!'_

The boy looked in surprise at Qui-Gon. Never before had his master called him by his nickname. More than that, the term son shocked him. "You..." He paused as his voice broke. "You aren't my father."

"Not biologically," the man said as he reached out to take both of Anakin's hands, "but in my heart, I am."

"E-even though," the boy stammered as his efforts to not cry started to waiver, "I-i'm a-al-always in t-trouble?"

Qui-Gon smiled gently as he let go of one of his hands and reached up to cup his cheek, but said nothing. That is when Anakin saw a tear on his master's cheek. All vestiges of holding back his own tears crumbled and the youth wrapped his arms around the older Jedi's neck. He allowed the man to scoop him into his lap as sobs wracked his small frame. Slowly, his weeping abated.

"What's going on here?"

Anakin pulled back in surprise to see a man in a uniform standing just inside the door to the security office. The security guard was even taller and heavier set than his master, and darkly tanned with short-cropped, wavy black hair. His thick lips were pulled back in a fierce scowl as he glared at the droid.

"This boy was caught in the bacta room without authorization, and was tampering..."

"Fixing!"

"... with one of the tanks," the droid finished as though Anakin had not spoken.

Turning to look at Qui-Gon and the boy, the guard he introduced himself, "I'm Jerren Wyrren, chief of security."

Both of the Jedi stood, and the younger wiped his tears on his sleeve as the elder placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm Qui-Gon Jinn, and this is my apprentice, Anakin."

The guard turned his dark eyes to the child. "Were you harmed?"

"No, sir."

Jerren gave a heavy sigh. "Good. Sometimes these droids can be a bit too rough. So, you were caught in the bacta room?"

"He may have been trespassing," Qui-Gon spoke for the boy, "but he was repairing the bacta tank, not sabotaging as your droid accused."

"I wasn't informed of any repair work being planned for today," the guard said as he went to sit behind a desk. "Please sit over here." He indicated two seats across the desk from him.

"Um," Anakin spoke as he sat beside Qui-Gon, "there wasn't any work planned, because the parts weren't here for the broken bacta tank. I... um... found the needed parts and..." He could see his master raise an eyebrow from the corner of his eye, but rushed on to say, "I thought since other patients besides my mom probably need it, I would go ahead and do the repairs myself. I didn't think it would be a big deal."

"Let me get this straight. You took it upon yourself to go into a room that is clearly marked 'For Authorized Personnel Only' and thought it was '_no big deal_.'"

Anakin lowered his eyes to the hands folded in his lap. Looking back on it, he realized how foolish he had been. "I'm sorry."

"Did you really fix the tank?"

With a sorrowful frown, the boy looked up at the security officer. "Yes, sir."

The officer glanced over at Qui-Gon with a raised eyebrow.

"He may be young, but his mechanical ability is beyond excellent. If he says he fixed the bacta tank, rest assured, it is fixed."

"I'll have to verify that, but If what you say is true, I don't see why we can't overlook the trespassing."

Qui-Gon tilted his head forward slightly. "Thank you."

Tapping a button on the comm panel located on his desk. "Hospital tech department, please." He spoke briefly to someone then folded his hands on the desk. "Now we wait," he said matter of factly. He turned his attention to Anakin. "You said your mother is a patient here?"

"Yes, sir."

"What's her name, may I ask?"

Anakin glanced over at Qui-Gon who nodded to the boy. "Shmi Skywalker."

"Skywalker?" A look of recognition crossed the security guard's countenance. At the youth's nod, he asked in confirmation, "A rather frail looking woman about forty-years-old with dark hair and brown eyes?"

Anakin's chest tightened with dread. "Why, what's wrong?"

"I'm sure she's alright," the man assured him.

The boy stood up and pressed his hands against the top of the desk. "What happened to her?" He sensed Qui-Gon reaching out to him in the Force to calm him.

"I saw a doctor and a couple nurses walking down the hallway with a patient on a stretcher. The doctor called her Mrs. Skywalker."

Anakin could hardly breath as he turned with a panicked expression towards his master. Qui-Gon took a hold of Anakin's hand as he spoke, "If the doctor is with her, I'm sure they are doing what they can to help her." '_She'll be okay, Anakin,' _his mentor's voice in his head reassured him.

As the boy sat back down, Jerren mirrored what Master Jinn had said, "The doctors here are very good at what they do. Your mother is in good hands."

Taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it, Anakin nodded. "Thank you, sir."

"So, Mr. Jinn, what line of work are you and your apprentice in?"

"We build and repair podracers."

Anakin listened quietly as the two men spoke. He was grateful for the change in subject.

"For what company?"

"You probably never heard of it. I started it with my life savings a couple years ago, and now we're here on Tatooine to try to interest some racers in our pods before the Boonta Eve Classic."

The comm unit on Jerren's desk beeped, and the security chief quickly tapped it. "Wyrren, here."

"_Shirg, here. We just checked the tank, and it appears it only needs to be filled with bacta!"_

"Thank you, Shirg." He smiled over at the two Jedi. "Well, your story checks out. You're free to go."

As both Anakin and Qui-Gon stood, Jerren rose as well. "I trust there will be no more sneaking into restricted areas."

"No, sir!"

"I hope your mother will be alright."

"Thank you."

Just before the two Jedi went through the door, the security chief said, "May the Force be with you, Master Jinn."

Anakin looked back even as Qui-Gon turned, and saw a knowing look on the guard's face. Qui-Gon bowed slightly as he replied, "And with you, Jerren."

They were out in the hall when Anakin asked, "How did he know?" He sensed amusement through their bond as they walked down the hallway.

"He caught a glimpse of my lightsaber when I got up from the bench."

"So he knew all along?"

Qui-Gon chuckled quietly as Anakin briefly glanced back towards the security office.

"How did you acquire the parts to fix the bacta tank?"

The boy looked up at his master and swallowed nervously. "Someone gave them to me."

Master Jinn raised an eyebrow. "Someone just handed you the parts out of the blue?"

Anakin blushed and looked down at his feet as they continued walking. "No, sir."

"What happened this morning, my Padawan?"

"While I was heading to the ship, I saw a shopkeeper get attacked by a thief. I stopped the thief. When I was coming back to the hospital, the shopkeeper wanted to give me something for helping him." He looked up at Qui-Gon as he continued, "I know we aren't supposed to take anything for helping people, but, he insisted, and I thought that since there were many patients here that could be helped if I could bring back those parts, well, I asked if he had them. I... I'm sorry, I know it was wrong."

"There is no reason to apologize Anakin. What you did in that circumstance was right. You didn't ask the shopkeeper for anything for your own gain. How did you know what parts were needed?"

"I... um... went into the bacta room yesterday before going to get my mom's things."

"So, you trespassed twice."

The boy gnawed on his bottom lip. "Yes, sir."

"Anakin, just because we're Jedi does not excuse breaking the rules. There are better ways to find out the information you needed. I want you to reflect on your actions and think of what you could have done differently."

"Yes, sir." The boy let out a desolate sigh. When Qui-Gon put his arm around his shoulders, however, he felt less dispirited.

"Your heart is in the right place, it's just your execution that is faulty."

They walked in silence for a couple minutes before Qui-Gon asked, "What were you feeling when you used the Force to stop the thief?"

"How did you know I used the Force, Master?"

"When you use the Force, it's like you're throwing a boulder into a pond. You need to learn to dampen your signature. Now, answer my question, please."

Anakin thought about it. "Well, I was angry when I saw the thief attack the shopkeeper, but I used the techniques you and Master Yoda taught me to release it. I felt... I guess calm but determined is the way to describe it."

Looking up at Qui-Gon, the boy could sense his approval even before the Master Jedi nodded and said, "Good."

"Um, something kind of weird happened after that... a crowd was gathering, and a few of them recognized me, and I just told them that there was nothing going on and to go about their business... and they just left... but I didn't use that mind trick. At least I didn't _mean_ to."

"Sometimes a young Jedi, after using the Force in a confrontation, it can have a residual effect on actions right after that. It's because of an adrenaline rush. Once you learn more control, that will no longer happen."

"Wow, there sure is a lot to learn, isn't there?"

Qui-Gon smiled. "We never stop learning, Anakin." The elder Jedi peered down at the padawan. "Are you hungry?"

Before he could say anything, the lad's stomach loudly growled.

Chuckling Qui-Gon said, "Come, let's go somewhere for lunch."

"But, I want to see if my mom is okay."

"The doctor is still with her."

"Oh." He frowned, wondering how his master knew for certain.

Qui-Gon gently squeezed his shoulder. "Let's go eat."


	6. Chapter 6: Letting Go

**CHAPTER 6**

**Letting Go**

Shmi frowned when she opened her eyes. _Where am I, _she wondered. The last thing she remembered was getting up from the bench in the garden after Qui-Gon had left. She had become dizzy. She recalled starting to sit back down, and then waking up here. She looked around to see she was in her hospital room. She sensed a presence, and before she turned her head in that direction, she knew it was her Jedi companion. He was sitting cross legged with his back to the couch on which her son lay sleeping.

Qui-Gon opened his eyes and looked over at her.

"Hi," she greeted him then cleared her throat when she heard how hoarse her voice sounded. He stood, and as he walked over to her, she wondered, "Why are you sitting on the floor instead of the chair?"

"Because the arms of the chair are too narrow to accommodate the way I prefer to sit while meditating." Qui-Gon picked up a glass and pitcher from the table near the head of her bed and began pouring water.

He handed her the glass which she thankfully accepted. "How did I get here," she asked once she had sated her thirst.

"You fainted after I left you in the garden. You'd developed a fever which the doctor says is a good sign your immune system is finally asserting itself."

She rubbed the side of her forehead, she frowned. "I must have hit my head, because it hurts."

"Thankfully it is only a bruise, not a concussion. I'm sorry, I should have walked you to your room before going to the security office."

Shmi reached out to take the Jedi's hand. "No, you can't take care of us both. Anakin is your first responsibility." She squeezed gently as she added, "I'm okay. Please don't worry about me." Even as she said it, she felt a deep loneliness well up inside. The soft touch of his fingers caressing the back of her knuckles sent waves of pleasure through her. She swallowed when she met his intense gaze. She saw in those dark blue eyes not only concern, but affection as well. _Can it be? _She dismissed that thought and decided to switch the focus on her son. "So, what did

Anakin do that you needed to go to the security office?"

"He broke into the bacta room."

"What?" Her eyes widened in alarm.

Qui-Gon smiled. "He was caught just as he finished fixing that broken tank."

"But... but how did he fix it? They said they couldn't get the parts for at least a week."

"He acquired the parts this morning. A local merchant whom he helped donated the parts needed."

She sensed there was much more to the story, but decided not to push for details because she was still feeling really weak. _There will be much that happens in my son's life from now on that I won't know about. I need to let this go._

"Are you okay?"

Shmi thought she sensed a warmth from the Jedi that was more than mere concern. She longed to have him hold her as he did earlier that day. _No, I need to let that go as well. Love between us can only lead to more pain when he leaves me again, taking Ani with him... that is if it is really love he feels... I'm probably just putting my own feelings onto him... but how do I know this is love... I hardly know this man. How can I trust what I feel when I'm not sure if it's true._ She took a deep breath to steel herself for what she was about to say.

"Qui-Gon, I think you and Anakin should stay somewhere else until I'm released from the hospital. You can come to visit every day, but... I need some privacy." She blushed as she looked away from him. "I'm sorry."

"There's no need to apologize. Yours is a reasonable request. Do you wish us to leave now, or shall we wait until morning?"

Glancing over to where the small form of her son slept before looking up at the Jedi once more, she said, "There's no need to wake Anakin. It can wait 'til morning." She smiled up at Qui-Gon and squeezed his hand. "Thanks for understanding."

A breath caught in her throat as he leaned over to kiss her forehead. "Go back to sleep now, Shmi," he whispered.

She was grateful he kept a hold of her hand as he lowered himself into the chair beside her bed. He closed his eyes as though taking his own advice and felt her own eyelids get heavy. She was still holding his hand as she drifted off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7: Revelations

**CHAPTER 7**

**Revelations**

As they left the hospital, Shmi reflected how natural it felt to walk beside Qui-Gon with her hand gently resting on the crook of his elbow. They had walked this way each day she was in the hospital, either talking quietly or in companionable silence, while Anakin went to visit his friends. _This will probably be our last walk together, _she reminded herself. She smiled down at her son who was holding her other hand, and realized neither of them were likely to set foot on Tatooine in the future. "Why don't you go say goodbye to your friends, Ani?"

"May I?" The young Padawan looked over at Master Jinn with hopeful eyes.

A surge of jealousy rose within Shmi's heart. _He's my son, damn it! I already gave him permission when I told him to go._

Qui-Gon's head lowered in a slight nod. "Do as your mother says. Meet us back at the ship in a half hour."

As she watched Anakin run down the street, she sensed Qui-Gon's eyes on her. She suddenly felt ashamed of her feelings. Blushing, she looked up at him. "I'm sorry."

He tilted his head slightly. "For?"

She felt her cheeks burning even hotter with embarrassment. "I just..." she looked away from him as she hesitated. When she continued, her voice was barely above a whisper, "It bothered me that he asked for your permission when I told him to go." Raising her eyes back up at him, she apologised once more. "I was angry at you, but, it's not your fault. I mean, you're... I... know I have to let go, but..."

"Shmi," he said softly as he shifted his arm so he held her hand. He reached up to cup her jawline with his other hand. "You don't have to apologize to me for your feelings. I wish I could ease your burden."

As his fingers caressed her cheek, she stepped towards him to give him a hug. She felt his strong arms wrap around her shoulder, and a slight pressure as he kissed the top of her head. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Is there anyone you wish to say farewell to?"

She pulled away as she thought about it before shaking her head. "The friends I have here visited me in the hospital, and we already said our goodbyes."

In silent mutual assent, they resumed their walk toward the spaceport, with Shmi again taking hold of Qui-Gon's proffered elbow. She studiously kept her eyes on the ground in front of them as she commented, "I'll miss this."

"What will you miss?"

"Walking with you."

There was a moment's hesitation before he asked, "Do you wish to go check your old residence to make sure nothing important was left behind?"

"I really didn't have much of importance Anakin wouldn't think to already pack."

"Okay." He chuckled. At her questioning glance he explained, "I was trying to make our walk last a little longer." Shmi laughed even as Qui-Gon put his other hand on top of her fingers that held his elbow. When their eyes met, he said quietly, "I'll miss you, too."

The two walked the rest of the way to the ship in silence.

Qui-Gon slowly turned the co-pilot's seat around to look at Shmi as they waited for Anakin to arrive. "We haven't spoken much about this, but now that we're about to leave Tatooine, is there anywhere you wish to go?"

"I'm actually at a loss as to where to go," she replied quietly as she stared at her hands which were folded in her lap.

"Sometimes, when we don't know where to go, it's time to go where we've been."

She glanced up at him with a confused frown.

"Do you remember where you were born," he asked by way of explaining what he meant.

She shook her head. "I was so young when pirates attacked the ship we were on. I don't know where we came from... or where we were going."

Qui-Gon's lips thinned as he considered what she said.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a burden."

"You can stop that kind of talk," he chided gently as he leaned forward and enfolded her hands in his. "You are _not_ a burden, Shmi Skywalker." He squeezed her fingers before adding, "Perhaps we could narrow the options down by eliminating the places you _don't_ wish to go."

A slow smile played upon her lips. "Any planet in the outer-rim territories can be ruled out."

"Well, that eliminates roughly three hundred worlds which are habitable to humans. You still have roughly one thousand to choose from."

"Is that all," she laughingly replied. "Well, if we eliminate the core worlds, then only the mid-rim worlds are left... do you have any suggestions?"

"Hm... well, there is one planet that comes to mind. A place someone will welcome you with open arms."

Tilting her head in curiosity, Shmi asked, "Which world would that be, and who are you talking about?"

He smiled slightly as he informed her, "I'm certain Queen Amidala of Naboo would be quite willing to return the hospitality you granted to her while she was on Tatooine a few years ago."

"Queen Amidala?" She shook her head in confusion. "I know Padme was her handmaiden, but..." she stopped in mid-sentence when Qui-Gon's grin widened. She raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Padme _is_ Queen Amidala."

Shmi's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? But, she was so sweet and... well, she didn't _act_ like a queen." Her expression turned slightly suspicious as she asked, "Did you _know_ she was the Queen when we first met?"

"I... strongly suspected that was the case." It was Qui-Gon's turn to be curious. "Would you have done anything different if you knew?"

"Well... not that I could really _do_ anything different, but I'd have been a bit more... self-conscious about having her in my home."

"Then it was good you didn't know. Padme would not have liked it if she made you uncomfortable under your own roof." After a minute's silence in which the information sunk in, Qui-Gon added, "As it is, she and the people of Naboo would graciously welcome you. Especially since your son is considered a hero there."

"What?" Surprise once more danced across Shmi's features. "What did he do?"

"You'll find out in detail from the Queen herself if you go to Naboo."

"Qui-Gon," she scolded, though there was a hint of laughter in her voice, "you can't just drop this bomb on me and not elaborate!"

There was an amused gleam in the Jedi's eyes as he relented. "Well, the Jedi Council sent Obi-Wan and me to escort the Queen back to her homeworld. On Naboo, we had secured the hangar bay, and I instructed Anakin to stay in a cockpit of a fighter where he would be relatively safe while the rest of us went on to battle the enemy forces on the ground. He wound up taking off in the fighter and blew up the enemy's droid control ship which deactivated all the droids on the ground."

"You told him to stay put in what is essentially a glorified pod-racer," she commented dryly.

"Well..." he paused to clear his throat, "... yes."

"And you really expected him not to do what came naturally to him?"

"Well, I really didn't think that over thoroughly enough," he admitted and he saw her close her eyes as she shook her head. Qui-Gon hastily defended his actions, "We were in the middle of a battle, and it was safer for him there than coming with us... that is if he followed my orders... but then if he _had_ done as I instructed by the letter, then he would have wound up in even more danger, and many more people would have died."

Shmi took a deep breath and slowly let it out as she reopened her eyes to quietly regard the Jedi.

"So," he broke the uncomfortable silence, "do you wish to go to Naboo? Even if you don't wish to live there, it would be a good place to stay until you figure out where you wish to settle."

Instead of answering his question, she narrowed her eyes. "I thought Ani wasn't supposed to go on missions until he completed the initiate tests. Why was he with you in the _first_ place?"

Qui-Gon quietly sighed. He had hoped to steer the conversation away from that detail. "At first, the Council had decided against training Anakin, citing that he was too old to begin training and they sensed fear in him. I defied them by saying I would train him on my own. This meant I would have no support in his training by anyone in the Order, and I had to take him with me when I was assigned on the mission."

"So he's not officially a Jedi initiate?"

"He is now. He proved himself on Naboo."

"By disobeying orders and blowing up a ship?"

"Actually, it was what happened after all that which changed their mind." Qui-Gon paused only slightly before continuing, guessing his audience would not yet be satisfied. "Master Yoda questioned Anakin while I was recuperating under a Jedi healer's care. The lad apologized to the Grand Master for the rift he perceived between myself and the Council, and asked him for advice on where he could go after withdrawing his apprenticeship to me so I wouldn't be in trouble." The Jedi Master smiled slightly as he remembered how touched he had been by Anakin's intended sacrifice on his behalf. "This led to Yoda speaking to the Council on the boy's behalf, and they changed their decision."

Shmi remained silent for a couple minutes, her expression pensive. "Were you in danger of being thrown out of the Order for taking Ani as your padawan?"

Qui-gon quickly shook his head. "No. The Council and I have often been in disagreement on various issues, but I have never given them reason to dispel me."

"Then why did Anakin feel he needed to leave you so you wouldn't be in trouble?"

"I believe he overheard a conversation between Obi-Wan and I, and he misunderstood what was said. Be that as it may, I have faith that Anakin has the strength to overcome any fears he has, and will become an extraordinary Jedi. Most of those on the council now share my belief."

"Thank you, Qui-Gon." She lowered her eyes as she added, "I'm sorry."

"For what," he asked, nonplussed at her apology.

"For doubting you."

He reached out once more to take her hand, giving her fingers a reassuring squeeze. When their eyes met, he fought back the urge to lean over to kiss her.

Slowly...

Reluctantly...

He pulled his hand away, his fingers stroking the back of her hand as he did so. He found it even harder to peel his gaze from hers. He swallowed before turning the subject of the conversation back to its original subject. "So, does Naboo sound like a good idea?"

"Yes, at least temporarily until I figure out where I wish to settle permanently." She shook her head as she added, "I... never thought this day would come."

"What's that," he wondered.

"I never thought I'd be deciding on where to go. I mean, it's never been an option for me. Before I was a slave, my parents made the decisions, and then my masters dictated where I lived. Even though I was almost freed twice before, I had never had a chance to give much thought on where I would go once it came about." She smiled at him. "Thank you."

Qui-Gon nodded wordlessly in acknowledgement of her gratitude. "So you came close to freedom twice? How, and what stopped you?"

"Before Ani was born, one of my masters was going to free me, but she died before she could, and her relatives were not inclined to carry out her wishes. The second time was actually a couple weeks before you returned to free me." Pain crossed her features, and she looked away from him as she continued in a subdued tone, "A moisture farmer befriended me, and he and his son were going to attempt to purchase me from Watto in trade for a tobal lens, planning to free me after the trade. However, when they were headed toward Watto's shop, they were accosted by a street criminal who shot and killed..." Her voice broke, and she began weeping. Getting up, she ran from the cockpit.

The Jedi was quick to rise and followed her. She stopped at the exit ramp, leaning against the wall beside the opening. "Shmi," he whispered as he stopped behind her. He gently rubbed her back as her shoulders were wracked with heavy sobs. He held her when she turned and wrapped her arms around him, saying nothing as he continued caress between her shoulder blades.

Once she stopped crying she pulled away, still sniffling slightly.

"I'm sure Cliegg would be glad to know you're finally free," he said softly, hoping to encourage her.

Shmi frowned at Qui-Gon. "How did you know his name? I didn't mention it."

Before he could formulate an answer, a sudden disturbance in the Force brought him to his knees. A scream of anguish escaped his lips, "Anakin!"


	8. Chapter 8: Taken

**CHAPTER 8**

**Taken**

"Anakin!"

The anguished cry cut through Shmi like a blaster bolt.

"Qui-Gon!" She knelt in front of the Jedi, placing her hands on his shoulders. "What happened?"

The faraway look in the Jedi's eyes combined with his ragged breathing greatly alarmed her. She shook his shoulders as she repeated, "Qui-gon, what's happening?" When there was no change in his demeanor, she placed her hands on both sides of his cheeks as her voice rose in desperation, "Please, look at me!"

Still, there was no response.

"I'm sorry about this," she said as she drew back one hand and lowered the other one. She hesitated a moment before swinging full force, giving his cheek a resounding blow which made her hand throb painfully. The smack to the side of his face only made his head jerk to the side slightly, but his expression remained distant.

Tears came to Shmi's eyes as she pleaded, "Come on, Qui-Gon, snap out of it."

Placing both hands on either side of his face, She leaned in to press her lips firmly to his and closed her eyes. She was surprised at the passion that welled up within her as she did so, yet she did not stop - not until he pulled away.

"Shmi?"

The lost and confused look on his face almost broke her heart, but that did not distract her from demanding, "Anakin! What happened to him?"

The Jedi's expression suddenly became focused. Without a word, he quickly stood and went around her. "Stay here," he ordered as he started down the ramp.

"Qui-Gon," she protested, "what's going on?"

He stopped briefly and turned to look up at her. "Raise the ramp and only lower it again when I come back." With those urgent instructions still ringing in the air, he turned and quickly ran out of the bay.

Shmi watched until he disappeared around the corner then closed the ramp as he had told her. Leaning against the wall, she whispered, "Please be careful."

She tried to take comfort in the fact that he was hurrying. She thought, _if Ani were already dead, there would be no need to rush, right?_ She pushed herself away from the wall and began pacing as different scenarios ran through her head that could have caused Qui-Gon's sudden collapse while saying her son's name, and none of them were good. In fact, many of them included a gory image of her child lying in a pool of blood.

She stopped in mid-stride and ran shaking fingers through her hair as she muttered, "This isn't doing you or anyone else any good. Get a hold of yourself and do something useful." She began searching around the spacecraft and decided to do an inventory of the first aid kit. After emptying, tallying, and replacing everything in the box twenty times, she suddenly thought she sensed something. Frowning, she went to the cockpit to look out the window, and saw Qui-Gon striding purposefully toward the ship.

Without Anakin.

She quickly went back to lower the ramp. It was barely halfway down when the Jedi jumped onto it and quickly covered the distance from the end to the level floor. Shmi jumped slightly when he slammed his fist against the control panel to raise the ramp once more. She saw he was grinding his jaw as he went passed her, and swallowed.

He pointed to the first aid kit as he went by it on the way to the cockpit. "Secure that, then buckle yourself in." His voice barely above a whisper, but the tone brooked no argument.

Sensing his urgency, she rushed to do as he said. Shmi mentally cursed her shaking fingers as she fumbled at the restraints. The hand she had used to slap Qui-Gon earlier ached as she redoubled her efforts upon hearing the ship's engines start. Her eyes darted to the large frame of her Jedi companion. She was loathe to ask for his help. Though she was used to the outwardly rough demeanor of her past owners, and had become detached to the abuse dealt her by them, Qui-Gon's atypical stormy mood disquieted her.

She started slightly when he suddenly turned in his chair and reached out to fasten her restraints. When he just as quickly returned his attention to the control console, she felt embarrassed at her timidity. _He would never harm me, _she thought_._ Still, she could not bring herself to voice the questions she so longed to ask...

_Where is Anakin? _

_Is he alive? _

_Where are we going? _

_What the HELL is going on?_

She tightly grasped the arms of her chair as the ship suddenly ascended with the nose sharply angled upwards. Her chest tightened alarmingly as they gained speed, and she had trouble breathing. Her vision became blurry, and just as she feared she was going to pass out, the trajectory eased and released the pressure on her chest. Her ears popped though, and she suddenly felt queasy.

"Are you alright?" Qui-Gon turned his head to look at her.

Shmi nodded and made a feeble attempt to smile even as she fought the urge to vomit. She was relieved when she felt the ship slow slightly. She then noticed a drastic change in the cockpit's viewport. The blue sky gave way to a vast blackness that was broken by tiny pinpricks of light, and she realized they had left Tatooine's atmosphere. Ahead of them was another ship, sleek in design and a little smaller than the one in which they travelled. They were coming upon it rather quickly, but then the small craft suddenly lurched ahead and disappeared. Qui-Gon's concentration was almost palpable as his hands flew over the controls, and the stars became silvery-white lines that streaked past at impossible speeds.

"Was Anakin on that ship?"

Without turning to her, Qui-Gon nodded.

"Please, tell me what happened."

"He was kidnapped."

"By whom and why?"

"Hold on, Shmi," he replied distantly as they came out of hyperspace. The other ship was just ahead of them, and they had only approached for a few moments before it disappeared once more.

Again, Qui-Gon's fingers flew over the control panel, and they were once more shooting through hyperspace.

"How do you know where they're going? Did you put a tracer on them?"

"Not exactly," was the Jedi's taciturn reply.

"Qui-Gon, do you know who has my son?"

She saw his back stiffen and heard him take in a deep breath and slowly release it before he spoke in an overly controlled tone, "Shmi, I'm trying to concentrate, please."

"I'm sorry," she whispered in a stricken voice. Tears burned her eyes as she worried that by distracting him she may have made them lose her son.

Once more, they came out of hyperspace. Qui-Gon quickly pressed a button and lasers quickly shot out toward the small ship, missing by a narrow margin.

"What the _hell_?" Shmi put a hand to her forehead and her fingers grasped the front part of her hair as her eyes widened in horror.

The front viewscreen was suddenly filled by the visage of a frail looking man with a distinguished bearing. "I confess disappointment in you, my apprentice. You do not think I believe you would actually shoot my ship out of the heavens while your own padawan was on board."

"What have you done to him?" Qui-Gon's voice sounded hoarse.

"He has not been harmed."

"Let me speak to him."

"Patience, Padawan. Meet me, alone," the man's gaze looked past Qui-Gon's and straight into Shmi's as he spoke. Even though he was the man who kidnapped her son, the haunted and tortured look in those eyes made her feel compassion for him. She said nothing, though, as those eyes refocused the Jedi. "I'm sending you the coordinates as I speak. I cannot stress enough that you _must_ come alone."

'_Master, what happened to you?'_

The transmission ended in the middle of Qui-Gon's unspoken question, and the Jedi's shoulders slumped as he and his companion watched the small ship escape once more into hyperspace. He reached up to rub the back of his neck as weariness flooded him. Something was very wrong. The last time he had seen his former master was in the healers' ward in the Temple when he was recuperating from the severe injury he had incurred during the duel with the Sith apprentice two years before. Dooku had come to visit him briefly. The elderly Jedi was pensive, and Qui-Gon had a sense that his master was giving him a final farewell, but at the time, the Master looked in good health.

Not like he did now.

Master Dooku appeared almost as emaciated as Shmi, and there were dark circles under his eyes. Though the elder was shielding himself, Qui-Gon could sense through their tentative bond that his soul was tortured and conflicted. '_Once I know Anakin is safe, I will do what I can to help you, my Master.' _He wasn't sure if the older man received the telepathic message.

He felt gentle hands begin to massage his tense shoulders and closed his eyes. "Are you alright?" Shmi's soft voice was as soothing to his soul even as her fingers excited his flesh.

Qui-Gon swallowed as he reached up to stay her hands as he replied, "Yes, thank you Shmi." He slowly turned his chair around and stood, still holding her hands. "I'm sorry for how I treated you. I was so focussed on trying to get to Anakin, I pushed you aside. You deserve more respect than that."

She pulled one hand from his and reached up to cup his cheek. "You did what you had to do. I don't expect, nor do I want you to coddle me. I meant what I said on Tatooine. You cannot take care of both Anakin and me. Ani comes first. _Always_."

He turned his head slightly to kiss the palm of her hand. He in turn stroked her cheek with his fingers as he looked deeply into her eyes. "I understand that, but I still could have been more polite about it."

"What's done is done, Qui-Gon," Shmi said as her fingers traced his face along his beard line. Her light touch tingled pleasantly and he fought the urge to lean down to kiss her as she added, "Don't worry about my feelings. I'm a big girl." A smile played about her lips as she said the last, and the fact that her torso was leaning towards him so that her feminine curves were slightly pressed against him became very much the focus his attention.

"Shmi," he whispered huskily as he pulled back. He cleared his throat before continuing in a more normal tone, "We need to go to Naboo before I rendezvous with Master Dooku."

"You mean before _we_ meet with Master Dooku."

"No," he said firmly, "you will stay on Naboo while I go get Anakin."

Shmi stepped back from Qui-Gon, widening the gulf between them as her eyes flashed with anger and determination. "I can't stay hidden away while my son is in danger!"

"You're not hiding, you are ensuring your son's safety by doing as I say," the Jedi reasoned. "Master Dooku told me to come alone. If you come, he may kill the boy."

"I'll stay on the ship, he doesn't have to know I'm here," she insisted.

"Shmi, please listen to me. I understand your wish to come. But even if you stay on the ship, Master Dooku will still sense your presence and it could put both you and Anakin in more danger. You have said it yourself, I cannot take care of both you _and _Anakin. I cannot concentrate on freeing Anakin if I have to worry for your safety as well!"

The former slave crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I hate it when my own words are used against me." She closed her eyes tight as she lowered her head.

"Shmi," he said softly as he took a step toward her and placed a hand under her chin. The next moment, she was leaning against him, and he could feel her body heave as she took in a deep, shuddering breath.

"I know you're right," her voice was muffled in his robe. "I don't mean to be difficult."

Qui-Gon enfolded her in his arms and leaned down slightly to kiss the top of her head as he struggled to keep his own emotions in check.


	9. Chapter 9: Lost

**CHAPTER 9**

**Lost**

Anakin felt very groggy as he slowly opened his eyes. As he stretched out, he noticed how cold and dark it was and shivered. He felt more than heard the thrum of engines, and knew he was on a ship. _Funny, I don't remember getting back here. _He scratched the top of his head as he sat up. He felt something was very wrong. He reached out into the Force and frowned. The darkness in the room was more than the mere lack of visual light, but there was a murky shroud that threatened to smother his spirit.

"Master Jinn," he whispered, "where are you?" He could barely sense the bond. Still shivering, he folded his arms in front of his chest and rubbed vigorously from elbow to shoulder. He closed his eyes even though he could see nothing with them open, and reached out further. _Master? Are you hurt? Where are you?"_

Though there were no words, he sensed an acknowledgement of reassurance that felt like the man he had grown to love as much as he loved his mother. Though their bond still seemed attenuated, he sighed with relief. That is until he discerned another shadowed presence close by.

"Hello?"

"There is much fear in you, young one."

The deep, resonant voice sounded somewhat familiar, but Anakin could not remember to whom it belonged. Instead of asking the obvious question, he shrugged, "Yeah, that's something I have to work on." As he spoke, he mentally worked to release the aforementioned anxiety. "My master is helping me, but he says it's mostly up to me to face my fear and overcome it."

"Fear can give you strength."

"Maybe," Anakin answered thoughtfully, "but, acting out of fear can make you do some mighty stupid things, too. It's like smashing a hornet with a sledgehammer and breaking through a wall to let the whole hive come buzzing in your house."

The young Jedi heard the person chuckle softly. "Only the young can speak such wisdom with so much naivety." The dark voice sounded both wistful and bitter. Anakin could feel a great deal of pain from the unseen man.

"Sir, are you injured," he asked as he stood. He walked blindly toward the sound of the voice.

"Stay where you are, child."

Stopping in mid stride, Anakin reached out with the Force as he gently replied, "I won't harm you, I just want to help."

"I won't harm you, I just want to help."

Master Dooku fought the urge to sob. The words backed by such pure compassion shamed him. "It is too late for me, young padawan. I am lost." He turned to press the pressure plate to open the door.

Though the glowpanels in the corridor beyond were dim, they let enough light in that his shadow was silhouetted against the floor behind him. "Qui-Gon will come to get you shortly. We must prepare for his arrival."

He walked down the corridor to the ship's cockpit, sensing the boy quietly following. When they arrived, he indicated the pilot's seat as he sat in the one next to it. "I have heard you are an accomplished pilot. Do you wish to demonstrate your prowess by landing at the coordinates on the display?"

Anakin favored him with a puzzled frown. "You aren't afraid I'll pull the ship around and go somewhere else, Master Dooku?"

"So you finally recognize me." Before the boy could respond, he answered the question, "If you do, you may never see Qui-Gon again." It was a lie, but the elderly Jedi was good at hiding his thoughts and feelings, so was sure the youth could not tell.

"But if I don't, you'll be leading him into a trap, right? I won't help you hurt my Master, sir."

"I have no intention of harming you or your master," he spoke truthfully, "though Dar... AHH!" Excruciating pain coursing through his body stopped his words. It eased after a few seconds, but left him breathing heavily from the exertion to overcome the agony. "Someone else wants me to kill Qui-Gon, but I would rather die than carry out that wish."

He could see in Anakin's expression that he was trying to piece things together. "Is it the Sith Lord?"

A smile quivered on Dooku's lips. "Yes."

"Who is he?"

Just the thought of the man's name brought torment to the elder's slight frame, and he fell to his knees with a scream of anguish. He felt small hands on his shoulders.

"Stop, please stop! Don't think about him." Anakin's plead broke through the agony, and the man's head slumped forward as he his body trembled. "I'm sorry, I won't ask any more questions."

Dooku could hear the quavering in the boy's voice and looked up to see youth was crying. He reached out and patted the boy's shoulder. "Anakin," he panted breathlessly, "just land the ship, please."

The boy swallowed as he pulled back his hands and wiped his own tears from his cheeks. "Yes, sir," he said as he got up and turned toward the pilot's chair.

Dooku was slower to rise from the floor and settle into the co-pilot's seat. _He is so much like Qui-Gon,_ he mused, _in so many ways. Maybe there is hope after all. If not for me, for the Jedi._


	10. Chapter 10: Confession

**CHAPTER 10**

**Confession**

"It's my fault." As Qui-Gon pulled away from her, Shmi cast her eyes down to the floor, unable to match his penetrating gaze. She closed her eyes as he gently lifted her chin.

"What's your fault," he inquired with a puzzled frown.

"I told him..." she paused to take a shaky breath, "... if I didn't tell him to say goodbye to his friends, he'd be with us now."

"Shmi..."

She interrupted him with a shake of her head and backed away as she glanced up at him. "No, don't tell me it isn't my fault, because I know it is. I sent him to say farewell because I wanted a little more time alone with _you!_" She blushed and looked away. "He's in danger because I was selfish." Folding her arms across her chest, she lowered her head as she whispered hoarsely, "I hate myself."

"Shmi," Qui-Gon said softly as he reached out to cup her cheek with his calloused hand, "please look at me." Taking a deep, shuddering breath and slowly releasing it before looking into his eyes, she felt a hot tear streak down the side of her face. His thumb gently brushed the moisture away as he continued, "By your reasoning, then I'm equally guilty. He looked to me for permission to go, remember?"

Nodding, she answered, "Yes, I remember, but..." He forestalled her by gently pressing one of his fingers against her lips.

"Aside from the fact that I sensed there would be an argument between us which I did not wish to have if I'd said 'no'," he paused with a slight grin lighting his eyes, and the corners of Shmi's mouth trembled upward slightly in response, "I _also _wished to spend just a little more time with you." He shifted his hand so his fingers traced her jaw line as he spoke, and he leaned toward her slightly. "I enjoy your company, Shmi. Since it may be a long time, if ever, we would see each other again once we parted, I just wanted a few more moments to..." He paused once more, his face now inches from hers. Shmi felt his warm breath caressing her lips, and she was sure her heart was going to leap out of her chest before he finished by whispering, "... to enjoy you a little more."

Qui-Gon's eyes widened as he suddenly pulled away, and to her surprise, she saw his face color slightly with embarrassment. "I'm sorry," he said as he shook his head, "that didn't come out as I intended."

"But, I like the way it did." Her own cheeks grew warm as she heard the flirtatious tone in her own voice. Swallowing, she reached out to take his hand. "I know neither of us are to blame for what happened," she said softly as she stepped closer to him. She placed another hand on his chest, feeling the strong pectoral muscles through his tunic, and noticed the rhythm of his heartbeat was the same as hers. "I... just..." She stopped speaking because she lost her train of thought as she gazed into his eyes.

Qui-Gon gently grasped the hand Shmi had placed against his chest and cleared his throat before speaking, "We... need to get you to Naboo so I can go rescue Anakin."

Blushing, she slowly pulled away. She tried to say, "Yes," but no sound emerged from her mouth so she swallowed and nodded.

As they parted, every fiber of Qui-Gon's being ached to hold Shmi, and he struggled to think clearly. He forced his gaze away from hers as he turned away and sat in the pilot's seat. _What is wrong with me? I'm a Jedi Master, not some hormonal teenaged padawan._ He smiled slightly as he thought of what his old friend, Sian Ny, would say: '_You may be a Jedi by choice, but you're a __**man**_ _by birth.'_ He was grateful his robe covered one particular aspect of his manhood, at the moment. He blankly stared at the control console for a moment, and shook his head to clear his mind. He tried to put his awareness of Shmi, who settled in the chair next to him, away as he entered coordinates for Naboo. He triple checked the settings before pressing the final button that would pull the ship into hyperspace. Once underway, he glanced over at her, careful not to make eye contact. "We should be there in a couple hours."

"Qui-Gon," she spoke softly, "please help him."

The Jedi blinked and regarded her with a puzzled expression. "Anakin? Of course, I'll help him."

"No, I mean that man... your former master... after you make sure Ani is safe, help him. I've seen that look he had in his eyes in a mirror before." She lowered her gaze to her lap. "He's lost, and needs help."

Touched but not surprised by Shmi's compassion, he reached out to take her hand and gently squeezed. "I will." He swallowed as he lifted her chin with his other hand so their eyes met. "What was it that hurt you so bad that you had that look?"

He allowed her to pull back from his touch as she closed her eyes. "This isn't about me," she whispered. She smiled shakily as she gently grasped the fingers that had lifted her chin. Reopening her eyes, she continued to speak at a more normal volume, "You were close to him."

"Master Dooku was not only my mentor, he was like a brother to me, and I will do everything I can to help him."

"Are you sure," she asked with her head slightly tilted downward and her fawn-brown eyes looking up into his, "I can't come along?"

Qui-Gon chuckled as he shook his head. "Shmi."

"I know, I just had to try once more."

Standing, he held out a hand out to her and said, "Come, it will be more comfortable in the main cabin." She took his hand as she rose from the chair, and he slowly lead her aft.

Shmi watched Qui-Gon as he made tea for the both of them, noting the Jedi's movements were a perfect meld of grace and efficiency. She found herself imagining how it would be to have her body moving with his. Blushing, she shook her head and looked away.

_Damn it, Shmi, stop it,_ she mentally chided herself, _are you looking for a broken heart?_ Still, she felt her pulse speed up as she saw him come over with the two steaming cups and smile at her as he placed them on the table. She was disappointed, however, when he sat across from her instead of next to her on the small bench. As she sipped the tea, she could not keep her eyes from peering over the rim of her cup at the handsome man before her. _Perhaps it's better this way, all the easier to look at him._

"Is the tea to your liking? It's not too hot, is it?"

Lowering the cup so she could answer, she smiled over at him. "It's perfect." _Just like you._ She was not sure if it was her imagination, but she thought she saw a slight coloring to Qui-Gon's cheeks as he broke his gaze.

The Jedi placed his tea on the table as well, and Shmi noticed their fingers were mere millimeters apart. "Thank you for your compassion toward my Master," he spoke softly.

"When someone's been fortunate enough to come through whatever horror that made one's eyes look as his did, they can't turn their back on one who is going through that type of hell."

Qui-Gon's fingers released their hold on the cup to gently trace the line of her hand against her own cup. "There are some who become hardened by those experiences, but others have the strength to sympathize."

"I..." she looked into the light, reddish-brown liquid as she tried to compose her thoughts. "There was a time when that wasn't so. There were times when I closed myself off so _they_ couldn't steal everything I _was. _The problem is, when you close yourself away for long enough, the way out gets blocked and you're trapped behind that door with a broken key in the lock... and sometimes you don't even remember that part of yourself is there, and couldn't find it even if you did." She saw a drop of liquid splash into her tea and realized it was her tears. Next thing she knew, Qui-Gon was beside her, holding her in his strong arms. "I was lucky," she began speaking once more as she laid her head against his shoulder. "Pi-Lippa, the master who tried to free me, was very kind and treated me as though I was her own daughter rather than just a slave. When she learned I was pregnant, she didn't judge me or ask who the father was. The first thing she said was, 'Well, I'll have to hurry up to free you then. We can't have your child born in slavery.' Her love pulled me out of my self-imposed prison, and when Ani was born, my love for him kept me from going back. I did all I could to shelter him from the worst of the horrors of our life as slaves... mostly all I could do was teach him to help others, because caring gives worth to even a slave's life."

Shmi felt Qui-Gon lean in to kiss the top of her head. She pulled away slightly so she could look up at him. Resting one hand on his thigh, she said, "Thank you for the tenderness you've shown me. I became so used to not having it, that I didn't even realize how much I longed for it." She lowered her voice to a whisper as she confessed, "I would choose to give to you as a free woman what others forced from me as a slave."

Suddenly feeling vulnerable, she removed her hand from his leg and looked away. She longed to tell him how much she loved him, but fear paralyzed her.

The Jedi caught her her hand in his and whispered in her ear, "Shmi..." His warm breath caressed her neck, sending tendrils of bliss coursing through her. "I'm sorry I can't be all you need me to be."

Though delivered with gentleness, his words were a blade in her heart. She quickly stood and walked a few steps away, silently cursing the fact that there was no place she could run to on the small ship. She held her arms across her chest and bit her bottom lip, determined not to cry. Without knowing how, she sensed Qui-Gon come up behind her. He made no sound. Before he could put a hand on her shoulder, she said, "Don't. Please, I need to be alone."

"As you wish, my lady." The reply was barely above a whisper.

Shmi closed her eyes tight while she shed unwanted tears and heard the Jedi's footsteps fading as he retreated to the cockpit.


	11. Chapter 11: Drawn

**Chapter 11**

**Drawn**

Qui-Gon's hand hovered mid-air just a couple millimeters from her shoulder as he replied softly to Shmi's request, "As you wish, my lady."

He turned and walked swiftly to the cockpit, pausing just inside as he contemplated whether or not to close the door. He decided to leave it open, hoping to let Shmi know without words that she could come to him if she needed to talk. He settled heavily into the pilot's seat, shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you." He felt a hot tear roll down his cheek. Taking a deep, shaky breath and slowly releasing it, he rebuked himself, _Damn it, get a hold of yourself!_

The Jedi closed his eyes as he began the usual mental exercises to enter meditation, but Shmi's face kept appearing as though pictures of her were glued to the back of his eyelids. Sighing, he opened his eyes and gave up on meditating for now. He could not deny he was attracted to this woman, and she to him. He also could not deny he cared deeply for her. _Who am I trying to fool? I __**love**_ _her. After Tahl, I never thought I could love another... I didn't want to love that way again._

He glanced back toward the main cabin where he could hear the whisper of Shmi's movements. The urge to go to her was strong, but he fought it. _I can only give her a moment's pleasure. My Jedi duties won't allow more than that. She deserves so much more than I can give her._ The thought occurred to him that he could leave the Order to be with her. _But where would that leave Anakin? I can't abandon him. Sure, another Master could train him, and he'd probably benefit from other tutelage besides mine, but I can't break our bond. That would be unfair to the boy, and Shmi would not allow that._

_Ani comes first._

_Always._

Qui-Gon took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The thought about the bond he had with Anakin made him realize that he also now had a bond with Shmi. He thought back through the past week and the time he spent with her, and saw how it grew. The two were drawn together by this bond, he could not disregard this. _It feels as deep and strong as my connection to Anakin... only with him it's more a father/son relationship... with her... _He smiled slightly at the turn his thoughts were going, then sobered quickly as he wondered just when their souls were linked, for he had not consciously formed a bond with this woman. Thinking back to how he had known the name of the moisture farmer who had tried to free Shmi even though she had not spoken it, he frowned. "But, that would mean it was forged the first time we met," he whispered to himself. He closed his eyes as he thought back...

_The first time he saw Shmi was when Jar Jar, Padme and he followed Anakin into the small hovel that the slaves called home. He was struck by the unadorned beauty and grace of their host. Her weariness of strangers was not lost on him, even as she extended her hospitality and generously shared what he knew she could barely afford. He also noted how reluctant she was to let her son enter the Boonta Eve classic. Qui-Gon knew Padme wasn't too thrilled at the prospect, either. Truth to tell, neither was he, but there was no other way to raise the money needed, and he had a feeling the boy would be victorious. Anakin pointed out to his mother how she had always told him that they should help those in need, convincing her to let him enter the dangerous race. _

'_She didn't much like it back then when Anakin threw her words back at her, either,'_ Qui-gon thought with a smile. _All through that day, after the sandstorm had passed, the Jedi had taken every opportunity to speak quietly with Shmi. _

Though he knew the bond had not formed that day, he had been attracted to her. _Did I subconsciously initiate this, _he wondered.

_That night, after he had said goodnight to Anakin, he spotted Shmi quietly watching him. She had blushed and turned away. When Qui-Gon came back inside, she apologized as she avoided eye contact with him, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop."_

"_What did you overhear?"_

"_Not much, just that someone named Yoda didn't have that high a count, and that no Jedi did." The woman glanced up at him as she tentatively asked, "You were speaking about Ani, right?"_

_Qui-Gon nodded. "He has much potential."_

_Shmi bit her lip before saying, "I don't have the right to ask you this, but please, if there is any way..." With embarrassment coloring her cheeks once more, she looked away before adding, "I don't ask it for myself, but if you could free Ani and take him with you... help him reach that potential..." She stopped, swallowing nervously._

_He took a step towards her and placed a hand gently on her shoulder. "Shmi, I'd like to help you both, but..."_

"_Qui-Gon," she whispered as she turned and grasped the hand that was on her shoulder, holding it between her slender fingers. "I'll do anything you want if you could take my son away from this Force-forsaken life!" Though she spoke softly, her tone held a desperate intensity that surprised the Jedi. She drew his hand down to her bosom as she continued, "I will pay you with the only thing I have if you free Ani."_

"_Shmi," he began as he gently pulled his hand away._

_He was jarringly interrupted by the entrance of a certain Gungan with a singular gift of such disruption._

_Shmi took advantage of the distraction to quickly retreat, but not before Qui-Gon noticed the tears in her eyes. Sighing, he let her go as he sensed her embarrassment. He accompanied Jar Jar into the main room. A few minutes later, their host came out with blankets. As she handed one to the Gungan then to the young handmaiden, she apologized, "I'm afraid I don't have extra pillows."_

_Padme smiled kindly. "You have nothing to apologize for. Your generosity is beyond what we expected."_

"_Meesa agree!" Jar Jar Binks said expansively, "Yousa muy muy a blessing to us." In his expressiveness, he spread his arms wide and wound up backhanding a glowlamp, knocking it over. In his attempt to right it, he knocked over the small table it rested upon. When Qui-Gon came over and helped the Gungan to prevent further destruction of their host's living quarters, the long-eared being turned to Shmi. "Mesa sorry mesa so clumsy."_

_Shmi smiled reassuringly at him. "You're alright." As she gave the last blanket to Qui-Gon, she avoided eye contact with him._

_The Jedi caught her hand before she could pull away, and bowed slightly so that their eyes met. "Thank you," he said softly even as she turned her head and pulled away her hand._

"_Good night." She turned to include her other two guests as she added, "I hope you all sleep well."_

_The next morning, Qui-Gon rose early. Jar Jar Binks was already awake, and the two left for the arena just as Padme began to stir. When Anakin and his mother arrived soon after he had made the bet with Watto, he could hardly wait to tell Shmi the good news. He felt his grin spread from ear to ear as he greeted her. "Good morning!"_

_The fact that she did not quite make eye contact did not bother him in the least as he helped her down from the eopie young Kitster was handling. Gently but firmly, he took her hand and led her slightly away from the others. "I have good and bad news," he told her._

"_What's that?" She finally looked him in the eye briefly before blushing and looking down._

"_I made a wager with Watto that Anakin would win the race. When he wins, Watto will release your son to me."_

_Shmi's eyes widened with delight as she looked up at the Jedi, the smile on her face was the most beautiful thing he had seen on Tatooine. "Oh, Qui-Gon, really?" No sooner had he nodded in affirmation, she wrapped her arms around his waist in a tight hug that almost hurt. Just as quickly, she pulled away. Embarrassed, she wiped her eyes. "What's the bad news?"_

_This time, it was Qui-Gon who looked away. "I... I'm sorry I couldn't include you in the deal," he answered in a quiet voice._

"_Qui-Gon," she said as she took both his hands and squeezed. When he met her eyes, she smiled up at him. "Thank you... I..." She stopped as her lips trembled slightly, and she took a deep breath before adding, "What counts is Ani. He doesn't deserve this life."_

"_Neither do you," he replied as the pads of his thumbs caressed the back of her knuckles._

_She shook her head. "No regrets." She then tilted her head as she asked, "What did you barter with?" Looking at where she knew he wore his weapon, she gasped, "Not your lightsaber!"_

_His lips creeped up in a slow grin and she laughed as her cheeks reddened. "No," he said with amusement coloring his voice, "the podracer."_

"_Good." She suddenly looked sad as she glanced down at the ground. "About last night..." her voice trailed off._

_Qui-Gon placed his fingers under her chin and lifted it until their eyes met. He said nothing, but with a small smile, he hoped she could understand he did not judge her. In his mind, she was the epitome of a perfect mother, willing to sacrifice her life and dignity for the well being of her child. He gently wiped a tear from her cheek. "Perhaps you should secure a viewing pad for the race before there are none left."_

_She nodded, and as she walked away, he allowed himself a moment to enjoy watching the sway of her hips. 'She's also a very beautiful woman,' he thought before going over to where Anakin and Kitster were talking with Padme._

Pulling his thoughts to the present, the Jedi shook his head. _It had to have been after the race,_ he decided. Then he remembered how he had used the Force to bolster Shmi's inner strength after they had told Anakin he was free. The boy had gone to pack, and Qui-Gon had put a hand on her shoulder while asking if she would be okay. _That was when it started,_ he realized. Then he frowned. "But, I didn't mean to form that bond," he whispered.

A beeping sound pulled his attention to the pilot's console. They were coming out of hyperdrive.


End file.
